Gay / LDS / LGBTQ / mormon / oppression / privilege / queer / understanding

The Other Side

Of course we’ve all heard the phrase “The grass is always greener on the other side”, right?

Well, not so much when it comes to the Mormons and the gays.

When I was Mormon, I thought a lot about the gays.  To me, their lawn looked plastic and glittery and colorful, but underneath, it was dead and decaying.

Then, when I came out and started meeting gay former Mormons (or less active, or ex, or whatever) and non-Mormons, I realized that many of them had the same kind of vision that I did towards the Mormon church.  They are nice and pretty and well put together, but underneath it, it’s a cult that belittles anyone that isn’t a straight white male.

I’ve been on both sides of the fence and have real life experience.  I’m a returned missionary that was on the fast track to becoming a seminary teacher.  And then I came out and my whole life changed.  I tried to keep the Mormon and the gay parts of my life separate, but together, and it was tearing me apart.  After a lot of thinking and praying, I made the decision to pursue the gay life style… whatever that means.  I had a lot of great learning experiences, some positive and some, well…. downright shitty.

And here I am today.  Although I no longer identify as Mormon, I still love my family and friends that do.  I embrace what I learned as a member of the church.  There is still so much of it in my heart, mind, and blood.  I live with my same-sex partner and our terrible, smelly basset hound in Oregon, and I work to support LGBTQ youth.

I’m now in a position in which I can help others build understanding between two communities that, in many ways, are polar opposites.  And while they may never see eye to eye, I think both communities can learn a lot from each other.


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